He Said, She Said: Guide to Relationships

Every good relationship has two sides. The bad ones tend to have one side (i.e. YOU'RE right, THEY'RE wrong). This is a story of a young couple finding their way and keeping their voice(s) while exploring the joys and woes of dating, love and travel.


Thursday, December 28, 2006

Sage, not taupe


So after all of HIS stress over the painting scenario, we ended up simply hanging curtains and light fixtures while my parents were in town. However today, we painted the bedroom sage. Now i must say that HE is DEFINITELY not a fan of painting and/or decorating, but today he took one for the team. I handled the trim & ceiling while he took control of the roller. 5 hours later we have a beautiful romantic room with a nice green tint.

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Painted paw prints

I arrived home after an afternoon at the bars watching football to find GIRLFRIEND standing over 2 buckets of paint and the dogs chasing each other round and round a ladder. Without speaking a word, I was handed a brush and given instructions.

Since it was so much fun the first time, GIRLFRIEND found us some more walls to paint. I'm still not sure what to make of the odd green color, but I trust GIRLFRIEND's sense of style. And so we began painting (again).

The walls weren't the only thing to be covered in paint. The dogs eventually found their way into the paint and left paw prints trailing throughout the apartment. I have to admit, it was cute... until we had to clean it up. Then definitely not so cute.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Choking on paint fumes

The paint arrived along with GIRLFRIEND and her parents. No pink, yellow or depressing dark color. But no blue either. Instead we’re going with taupe. I’m not even sure what color Taupe is supposed to be. (I must have missed that day in art class). If I had to describe it to friends I’d say it was greenish gray. Could be worse, I suppose. I’m just not sure how it’ll look on our bedroom walls.

I’m anxious to get this whole painting adventure over and done with. You stick 4 people in a cramped room hopped up on paint fumes with 2 dogs barking in the other room and chances are a fight will break out. Here’s hoping I come out on top.

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Hand me a paint brush


Today we’re painting. And GIRLFRIEND has assigned each of us a specific task. Her Mom and I are in charge of touching up the fringes. Personally, I was hoping to handle the paint roller but that gig went to her Dad. They left me with the dogs and went to the hardware store to pick out a paint color. I’m not real picky and have no preference when it comes to the color. As long as it isn’t pink, yellow or some depressing dark color. Blue would be nice. That’s what I told GIRLFRIEND. My guess is she’ll come back with something other than blue.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

dinner gone wrong


At dinner GIRLFRIEND announced plans to redecorate our condo. It sounded like a decent idea – for some far and distant time in the future. I certainly wasn’t expecting manual labor to be a part of the weekend’s activities. But before our salads had even arrived, GIRLFRIEND had the entire thing planned out. Her parents aren’t in town just to visit – they’re being put to work. And even I’ve been given a task. I went to bed last night hoping SHE would forget the whole thing by morning. I was wrong.

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

early Saturday morning with the dogs

I woke early this morning to the sound of our youngest puppy whimpering. I turned to my right and squinted at the clock. 6:00am. I must have groaned out loud because my older dog (who at 3 years has the smarts to sleep in on a Saturday), lifted his head in agreement and repeated the gesture, which only encouraged the puppy to whine louder.

“I’m up, I’m up” I announced to no one in particular as I let the puppy out of her cage. Like Dash out of The Incredibles, she shot out of her cage and did 3 fast laps around the condo. She was wired and ready to play. I just wanted to lie down.

Yawning, I gave her some water, which she quickly lapped up. Way too much water way too fast. I knew from experience that I had about a 180 second window to get her downstairs and outside before her bladder blew. I threw on some shoes, a hat and grabbed a coat. I didn’t realize until I was standing outside in the freezing cold that I had mistakenly grabbed my girlfriend’s coat.

Standing outside with the dogs, shivering in my PJs and girlfriend’s coat, I realized that the condo was empty when I left. There was no sign of GIRLFRIEND or her parents. Back inside, I found a note. They woke up early for a family fun shopping expedition out in the suburbs. Their destination: IKEA and JC Penney. I was pretty sure the stores didn’t open at 6am. But they were no where to be found.

And so I did what any man would do in such a situation. I went back to bed.

The thing I love best about GIRLFRIEND is that she’s smart enough to leave me behind. Shopping with the in-laws at IKEA at 6am on a Saturday really aint my thing. Not when I can be sleeping.

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Friday, December 08, 2006

Crowded house


This weekend GIRLFRIEND’s parents in town visiting. They’re staying both nights with us at our place, so alone time and personal space will be limited. Nevertheless, I’ll try my best to sneak in a few blogs if possible.

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

An American Girl Haunting


I have a confession to make. I am terrified of American Girl Place. I'm not proud of this, but admitting my fear is the first step towards recovery. For all my remaining years, I will never set foot inside another American Girl Place. I am convinced it's an evil place to brainwash young girls and their Moms.

My story begins over the summer. I went to meet GIRLFRIEND and some of her family friends who were visiting in town. Among them was a 7 year old girl I'll refer to as "BratGirl." BratGirl is the very definition of your typical American spoiled, obnoxious, whiny little girl.

No matter what you bought her, BratGirl always wanted more. She would pout and whine in high-pitched voice I'm convinced only dogs and myself could hear. Worse still, BratGirl always seemed to get what she wanted. There'd be moments when I could take no more and wished a runaway stroller would fling itself at her... and she'd be promptly rewarded with an ice cream. It seemed the louder she whined, the more she was rewarded. I blame BratGirl for my introduction to American Girl.

I was supposed to meet GIRLFRIEND, her friends and the visiting BratGirl there on a random Sunday morning. I walked the short distance and stood outside the entrance glancing up at the big sign. It wasn't far from my work and just down the street from the Chicago El stop. But I had never noticed this store before. I must have walked by it every day on my way to work. "Strange," I thought as I stood outside stuck in my head. The doors spilled open and dozens of Daughters and Moms knocked me aside. That should have been a sign to stay away.

The front entrance was huge and the walls were lined with customized dolls of every ethnicity and every era (Wild Wild West doll, Geisha doll, Hippie 60s doll, caveman doll, etc.) lining the walls. I scanned the crowd and realized GIRLFRIEND wasn't here. Damn. I had to go deeper inside this strange place.

So I took the elevator upstairs. Apparently, one floor can't hold all the dolls in the world. As my eyes adjusted, I noticed that many Daughters in the store were dressed exactly as their Moms. That would be odd under normal circumstances, but what sent a shiver down my spine was that each girl carried a doll... dressed in identical clothes. In some instances, you had Moms, Daughters and Dolls all dressed alike. I kid you not. And best (or worst) of all, there was a sit-down bar where you could take hair braiding lessons. There I found Daughters braiding their dolls hair while their Moms stood behind braiding their daughter's hair.

I stood there for a long while mesmerized by this Americanized craziness. Once I came to my senses, I fled. Goodbye BratGirl. Here's hoping you never visit us again.

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

He Said She Said: No more American Girl ads


Please Google, I'm begging you. Stop serving up American Girl ads on this blog. I have a strict ban on that store and anything to do with it. Frankly, it scares me. There's a story there and I'll find the courage to write it. But I will forever move to the other side of the street whenever I come across an American Girl store. Beware.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Watch out for that Hard Candy

WOW. Just finished watching one of the most riveting, disturbing movies I’ve seen in a long while. It’s called Hard Candy. It’s an indie flick that came out earlier this year, generated some buzz and was recently released on video. The movie is a sick revenge flick that should scare most men never to talk to 14 year old girls again. They should show this in prison. Go rent it at your local Blockbuster. Or not.

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Sunday, December 03, 2006

He Said, She Said: Picking up the writing pen


It's been way too long since our last He Said She Said post. That will soon change.

Life has been very busy as of late and it's stolen much of my writing time. Recent events that have occupied my time include my 10 year high school reunion, a new family member, puppy school, religion class and introducing both sets of parents.

Plenty of material to keep you entertained through the winter. More to come.