He Said, She Said: Guide to Relationships

Every good relationship has two sides. The bad ones tend to have one side (i.e. YOU'RE right, THEY'RE wrong). This is a story of a young couple finding their way and keeping their voice(s) while exploring the joys and woes of dating, love and travel.


Saturday, April 29, 2006

Every relationship has its Brokeback moment

He Said, She Said...HE SAID:

I suppose it's inevitable in every relationship, and perhaps I shouldn't have resisted for so many weeks. But I finally caved and rented Brokeback Mountain on DVD. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm against seeing a movie about two cowboys in love. Not at all. It's just that I wasn't in any rush to see it. But with SHE at home sick and not feeling well, I decided to surprise her with dinner and a DVD. And ya know what? The movie is every bit as good as everyone said it was. Great acting, good story and stellar cinematography.

To read more about my take on the film Brokeback Mountain, and other HE SAID, SHE SAID Movie Reviews, click here.

Monday, April 24, 2006

SHE SAID: Pet Peeve #1 - Dirty, crusty dishes in the sink

She Said:

Can someone please tell me why even if the dishwasher is empty, he will not rinse his plate and put it in the sink?!?! I just don't get it... at his mom's house he always puts the dishes in the sink.

It seems like no matter what I do, how much I beg & plead it is physically impossible to either rinse the spaghetti sauce off the plate or to put it in the dish washer. You would think that the recent gnats might set off an alarm since it was he who pointed them out.

I have always been a pretty cool girlfriend, but ever since we have moved in I feel like I have become a nagging mother. I know we are tired and have long days, but after 3 days of mac-n-cheese sitting in a pot in the sink it STINKS!!!! and then it is so crusty there is no way in hell you can get the noodles off the pan.

It takes .5 seconds to rinse the plate when you are finished, but yet he seems to get lost somewhere between the remote control & the kitchen.

However, he has actually improved since his bachelor pad days... there were a few times I almost passed out from the fumes at his old place. I guess some might say I should have seen it coming and it is my fault for buying into those broken promises, but I still have faith in my baby. Yes, I did totally fall for the whole "BABY I PROMISE I WILL ALWAYS CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF AND DO THE DISHES" line, but I would rather work on the whole dirty dishes thing than to not eat dinner together every night... even if it is on TV trays.

Monday, April 17, 2006

He Said: Learning from Big Sister

Our family differences could make for some interesting psychoanalysis.

Take me for instance. I've been a Midwest guy from the day I was born, and I come from a pretty liberal family. At the dinner table, no topic was ever off limits. I had an older sister to learn from - and whenever she screwed up, Mom made sure I witnessed it.

One of my fondest memories of Big Sis was her hugging the toilet puking up vodka after a night out with friends. Mom got me out of bed for that one. Being that I was only 8 or so at the time, I was confused why Mom made no effort to help Big Sis. Instead, she simply watched. The lesson I learned that night was to never piss off Mom.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

He Said: Running with your eyes closed

Last week I ran the LaSalle Bank Shamrock Shuffle 8K. I must be getting lazy because I finished about 5 minutes slower than last year. I could blame my poor time on the fact that I was running late - having quite literally jumped out of a cab 3 blocks from the start as the gun went off. I sprinted all the way to the starter's line and never stopped once before reaching the end.

Under normal circumstances, that'd be a perfectly legitimate excuse for my poor time. But I did the same thing last year. Only difference was this year I skipped the gear check and carried my cell phone with me as I ran.

Even after waking up early, I found one distraction after another to avoid getting ready. It was only a matter of time before I was running late. Procrastination is the ultimate buzz kill. And it's a tough habit to break. I fear SHE's convinced one day I'll be late to our own wedding because I'll be checking my fantasy baseball stats.

Incurable procrastination. Consider it part of my charming personality.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

SHE SAID: The Grass is Always Greener

I heard a phrase tonight that sunk in so deep and is ever so true...

"life happens while you are busy planning it"

This is so true. When do things ever go like you plan them? It's like we spend so much time planning out our futures and what we need to do that we miss out on what is going on now.

I can remember always having a dream... when I was a teenager I wanted to own an advertising company and be a powerful business woman. I didn't care about getting married, having kids. I dreamt of growing older so I could begin my journey towards the top. I would move away to open a company... I would work late nights or whatever it took to get to the top.

I studied advertising, web design, did internships... before I knew it college was over.


So I packed my bags and moved to the big city of Los Angeles. Coming from a small town in Kentucky, I was a southern belle with big dreams. I had always wanted to move to California. After all of my hard work I decided I would live life and take some time off. So for the first time in 10 years, i stopped working in a corporate environment & just lived.

I did freelance web design. I worked concerts and movies. I drove to the beach in my wrangler with the top down. I played guitar every morning on my rooftop deck while I had a cup of tea. Oh and the mountains! I would hike them everyday! The freedom was amazing... until the bills came.

I could get by on numerous jobs, but after awhile I needed a little more stability. So the worrying began. The last 8 months I was in Cali, I spent thinking about how I could of, should of & would have been on my way to the top if I hadn't have taken time off. So I started working at a PR firm. This was fun for a bit, but the people there were a little crazy.

I liked California, but I started getting the itch to move again. What else is out there? What am I capable of? So the next few months I spent researching my new home. I visited Chicago & fell in love. I didn't know anyone in there, but the people seemed great and you could just feel the opportunity when you visited the city. I felt like there were challenges waiting for me to overcome and if i didn't like it, i could always move somewhere else in a couple of years. The last few months in LA I don't even remember.... I was just counting down the days to head across the country.

I have been in Chicago for a couple of years and have worked my way into a great position at an advertising agency. I have become the powerful corporate woman I had dreamt of at a younger age... yet the simplicity of life while I was playing the guitar in Cali still circles in my mind. How did I leave fabulous friends in such a warm, fun city?

As I work hours and hours and hours, I think about how I used to care less about having a family of my own and realize now that this is a special gift in life... continuing to grow. What is more important the money or the friends, family and things in life that make it worth living? For me it is life. I would rather make less money than to miss out on the important things that you can never get back. I know I won't stay in this corporate role forever, my priorities have changed and will continue to change. But, I do know that I made a promise to myself to never have a job that I didn't love, life is too short. So as I change and as I grow, I will continue to follow my dreams and my heart where ever they may lead me.

I guess my point is...to not miss out on the things going on today because you can't stop anticipating your next move. Travel ANYWHERE you possibly can because you never know how many tomorrows will come. Enjoy whatever makes you happy, even if it is only for a short moment. And remember that no matter how much you gain, there is always something else we want, so don't take for granted the things you have today because they may not last forever.