Choking on paint fumes

HE SAID:
The paint arrived along with GIRLFRIEND and her parents. No pink, yellow or depressing dark color. But no blue either. Instead we’re going with taupe. I’m not even sure what color Taupe is supposed to be. (I must have missed that day in art class). If I had to describe it to friends I’d say it was greenish gray. Could be worse, I suppose. I’m just not sure how it’ll look on our bedroom walls.

I’m anxious to get this whole painting adventure over and done with. You stick 4 people in a cramped room hopped up on paint fumes with 2 dogs barking in the other room and chances are a fight will break out. Here’s hoping I come out on top.

Hand me a paint brush

HE SAID:

Today we’re painting. And GIRLFRIEND has assigned each of us a specific task. Her Mom and I are in charge of touching up the fringes. Personally, I was hoping to handle the paint roller but that gig went to her Dad. They left me with the dogs and went to the hardware store to pick out a paint color. I’m not real picky and have no preference when it comes to the color. As long as it isn’t pink, yellow or some depressing dark color. Blue would be nice. That’s what I told GIRLFRIEND. My guess is she’ll come back with something other than blue.

dinner gone wrong

HE SAID:

At dinner GIRLFRIEND announced plans to redecorate our condo. It sounded like a decent idea – for some far and distant time in the future. I certainly wasn’t expecting manual labor to be a part of the weekend’s activities. But before our salads had even arrived, GIRLFRIEND had the entire thing planned out. Her parents aren’t in town just to visit – they’re being put to work. And even I’ve been given a task. I went to bed last night hoping SHE would forget the whole thing by morning. I was wrong.

early Saturday morning with the dogs

I woke early this morning to the sound of our youngest puppy whimpering. I turned to my right and squinted at the clock. 6:00am. I must have groaned out loud because my older dog (who at 3 years has the smarts to sleep in on a Saturday), lifted his head in agreement and repeated the gesture, which only encouraged the puppy to whine louder.

“I’m up, I’m up” I announced to no one in particular as I let the puppy out of her cage. Like Dash out of The Incredibles, she shot out of her cage and did 3 fast laps around the condo. She was wired and ready to play. I just wanted to lie down.

Yawning, I gave her some water, which she quickly lapped up. Way too much water way too fast. I knew from experience that I had about a 180 second window to get her downstairs and outside before her bladder blew. I threw on some shoes, a hat and grabbed a coat. I didn’t realize until I was standing outside in the freezing cold that I had mistakenly grabbed my girlfriend’s coat.

Standing outside with the dogs, shivering in my PJs and girlfriend’s coat, I realized that the condo was empty when I left. There was no sign of GIRLFRIEND or her parents. Back inside, I found a note. They woke up early for a family fun shopping expedition out in the suburbs. Their destination: IKEA and JC Penney. I was pretty sure the stores didn’t open at 6am. But they were no where to be found.

And so I did what any man would do in such a situation. I went back to bed.

The thing I love best about GIRLFRIEND is that she’s smart enough to leave me behind. Shopping with the in-laws at IKEA at 6am on a Saturday really aint my thing. Not when I can be sleeping.

Crowded house

HE SAID:

This weekend GIRLFRIEND’s parents in town visiting. They’re staying both nights with us at our place, so alone time and personal space will be limited. Nevertheless, I’ll try my best to sneak in a few blogs if possible.