HE SAID...baby steps

HE SAID:

We're just days away from the big "move in" date. It certainly doesn't help that I absolutely dread moving. I find the entire process to be unbearable, and that's not necessarily a good thing when you're about to move in with your girlfriend. But it seems moving in together is all SHE wants to talk about, which of course just increases my anxiety and uneasiness.

As Mom said this past weekend, moving in together is "making quite the statement." But I almost feel that choosing NOT to live together would have made an even bigger statement. By all intents and purposes, I really did bring this all about on my own. So I figure at least some part of me wants it - unless I am just trying to sabotage the whole thing. Seems a bit late for that sort of thinking now.

The lease is signed, money has exchanged hands and already we're picking out furniture, TV's and other new appliances. It all just makes me so incredibly nervous. What if we drive each other mad? What if her cleaning obsession clashes with my "leave the dishes for later" mentality? Well, that's probably inevitable.

I suppose I have to grow up a bit. Part of me thought I always would remain single - but SHE is just too great to pass up. The very idea of moving in together is a bit daunting and a helluva lot scary. But alas, here I am jumping into the unknown with my eyes wide shut. Maybe I'll surprise myself and end up loving it all. After all, it isn't quite marriage just yet. At least not yet... Baby steps, I keep telling myself. Baby steps.